Hobbies
I know many people get asked what do you like to do outside of work/school?
That used to be a very hard question for me to answer. I would just give generic answers: watch tv, go to the movies, sleep.
But those aren’t hobbies. Those are passive activities, while fun, not true hobbies.
I had to learn what hobbies I did and didn’t like and that was challenging for me because I didn’t know my own likes and dislikes. I learned over time that when I felt a strong wave of negative emotion, I wanted to be destructive. I used my hands more times than not. Whether that was hitting something, destroying something, ripping something; it didn’t matter I would use my hands to let out pain, frustration, hurt.
Since I knew this about myself and recognized these tendencies, I learned I should probably find hobbies and activities that involved using my hands. This allowed me to use my hands for something positive while doing an activity that was calming and helped me calm down so I wouldn’t do anything harmful to myself or anyone.
I find hobbies that are the most helpful are hobbies that have to be done or can be done outside the home (even if that’s your backyard or driveway). A change in environment can change your mood, thoughts, feelings.
Here are activities that can help calm my emotional state which allows me to begin to think logically and/or in a healthy way about a situation that is really bothering me.
Examples of my hobbies now:
- Building LEGO architecture
- Shooting archery
- De-cluttering my living space. I live for organization. Everything has a spot and there is a spot for everything. (www.pursuingminimalism.com)
- While this isn’t a hobby, it has been a go-to of mine for a few years: cleaning and washing my car. Not the most fun thing in the world, but it does keep me busy, allows me to process my thoughts, and I’m being productive. I think the methodical way in which I wash my car helps bring a sense of calm over me.
Examples of other hobbies that involve using your hands:
- Pottery
- Arts and crafts activities. Maybe you enjoy making handcrafted jewelry.
- Gardening
If words are your choice find activities that will help you to calm down, but allow you to use your words within the activity:
- Spoken word
- Read out loud (to yourself, to children)
- Sing out loud
- Journal. Literally write anything. How you are feeling. What you want for dinner. Where you want to vacation next.
- Create. That can be drawing, digital graphics, painting, scrap booking, etc. creating content is another form of expressing yourself.
If self-harm is your go-to in order to calm you down, try these replacement activities:
- Running/biking/walking/any type of outdoor activity. (I picked outdoor activity because most people are not going to try and harm themselves in public. It’s in private when left to our own devices that we tend to do the most damage). I can’t say walking my dog hasn’t been therapeutic at times.
- Gardening
- Organizing things in your house
The goal is to find activities that will prevent you from harming yourself, but allow you a positive experience to release what you are feeling inside.
If your internal dialogue is very negative and you are struggling to break that cycle:
- Read an inspirational or motivational book
- Listen to positive and uplifting podcast
- Turn to your “power songs” (https://www.breakthesilencemovement.com/?p=429)
- Meditate
- Read through positive quotes
It took me some time to find hobbies I enjoyed. There were some things I tried, and it wasn’t for me; while other things were a perfect fit for me. Finding a hobby, or multiple hobbies, is not always easy, but it is necessary.
The goal of having various hobbies is to give yourself and your mind something to do to help ease the tension when you are deep in your feelings. Hobbies are a distraction, but more so in the sense to help you remove the strong emotions out of the equation and out of your mind, so you can begin to think clearly about a situation/decision. Thinking clearly about a situation/decision will allow you to make sound decisions; decisions that, for the most part, are the best decision to make based on the information you have at the time.
I have adopted this as a life motto.
‘Never make an important decision when you’re really happy or really sad/upset.’
The decision you make in that moment will be a highly emotional decision and probably the wrong decision. Wait until your mind is in a state to think through things clearly before making a decision. Have you ever made a decision in a highly emotional state only to make things worse?
What types of hobbies do you enjoy? Comment below!!









